I Hate Dummies

Who knew that childhood toys could suddenly be so terrifying once adulthood hit. A lone china doll is fine but group a bunch of them together in one room and there you have it- creepy. Maybe I blame Stephen King but I find clowns extremely uncomfortable and would not want to be caught alone with a clown doll, let alone an actual human in costume. As if I had a love for them in the first place, I was reminded yesterday of another nightmare educing childhood plaything. I am referring to the forever strange and disturbing ventriloquist doll. Why would this suddenly spring to mind one might ask? Well, a friend and coworker traveled to his childhood home over the weekend and returned with this once favored ventriloquist doll complete with monocle and blood red lips. We all had a good laugh and conversation at work discussing how spooky these sorts of dolls were and at the time, I figured this was the end of it. When I returned from the gym yesterday I wheeled my desk chair around to come face to face with this unsettling child size creature. As if that was not bad enough, at the end of the workday I ventured out to my car and found this indestructible doll in the backseat of my car strapped in with a seatbelt. Thank goodness for daylights savings time because if I had come into contact with that thing without the sun’s rays I may have had to check myself into some serious counseling. Apparently this year’s April Fools pranks are beginning a few weeks early so I will embrace the joking whole heartily but please, no more dolls!